How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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