im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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