absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
