we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
