I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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