Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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