Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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