I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I am midnight drunk by noon
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
