Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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