What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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