What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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