pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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