Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
