you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Randomize
