in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
