Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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