i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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