I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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