it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
