yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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