Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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