hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize