I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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