He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
