We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
