i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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