i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
