and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
