Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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