somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
