Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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