Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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