The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
