His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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