i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
