i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
