She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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