I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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