Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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