quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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