who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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