Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
