her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
