and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
