you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
tell me about the fingering
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