So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I enjoy the company of your penis
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