So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
