If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
