You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
