this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
