Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
