Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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