That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
